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12 may 2000
----- Checking my access logs tonite. Someone found this site while searching on "+woman +armwrestling -nude -sex -kiss -kisses -porn -clitoris." The entry in question is here. Now, if I could only write myself a journal that responds to a reverse of the above query ... No, on second thought, I happen to like "woman" and I have nothing against "armwrestling." I don't know why I look at access logs. It's kind of depressing. This site gets less than 20 percent of the hits that it used to. When I killed "a.cappella," I was rolling in the hits. When I started "amaebi," and everyone thought I was female, I was rolling in the hits. Now, the traffic plain-old sucks. I wonder why .... Actually, it's pretty obvious. "a.cappella" was awash in self-pity, mean sarcasm, and a general loathing of life. (just read any entry from february 98 on) Early "amaebi" -- people thought it was written by an attractive woman, and I can't imagine why (just read any entry from march 99 on). And here I am now, just me, living life as a male, and hardly loathing that life or myself. It doesn't make for good writing, does it? I'm curious about the traffic on this site. I'm making a small design change just to see what happens.... Save for my mattress, I'm all moved in to Malibu, and I'm leaving for Boston in about six hours. If that's not an excuse to shut down and sleep, I dunno what is. 12 may 1999: didn't write : 12 may 1998: in the closet : Mom just called. Wanted to know who the crying baby was in the background. "Yeah ma, that's right, it's mine, I'm really quick. Toldya you'd be a gramma soon."
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