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25 may 2000
----- Okay, so the reason I bumped up my move to Malibu by two days was that the stupid el-cheapo air mattress I was sleeping on kept on collapsing and threatening to pinch my bony butt between bedframe baseboards. Last night said bony butt discovered that my el-expensivo Select Comfort mattress has also developed a leak. At least four times during the night, I had to wake up and pump the thing back to normal. Upon leaving for work this morning, I inflated it one last time and stuffed a plug in it. I called Select Comfort from work. You say it's leaking, sir? Yes, over the course of a few hours. Are you near the mattress now, sir? Is fifteen miles considered near? Well, what I need you to do sir is disconnect the pump and put the little plug in the mattress next time you inflate it. That way we can figure out if you have a defective air chamber or a defective pump. Actually, I put the plug in this morning. Oh, is it leaking then? I'm fifteen miles away, maam Oh yes, that's right ... Well, what you need to do is check the mattress tonight ... ... and call you tomorrow. I finished for her. So here I am, back from the recording studio, 11:30pm, and the mattress is flat as a pancake. And there's nothing I can do about it. My roommate is sound asleep in the next room, and there's no way in hell I'm running the pump on my second night in the apartment -- the thing sounds like an industrial vacuum cleaner. I have a bad air chamber, and I need to call Select Comfort tomorrow and them overnight me a new one. As for tonight, I'm gonna shove a pillow under my ass and hope the morning comes soon. 25 may 1999: smoke signals : And that's not to say my hands are fucking anything, except myself, on occasion, but I really don't want to get into that right here, 25 may 1998: real : How do I stop the wrong thoughts from happening, though? When a wrong thought happens, it's already too late.
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