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01 july 2000
complain complain "I'm looking for a really special woman." It all started with an innocuous conversation about my social life, brought on by two too many drinks in the midst of company I haven't hung out with for quite some time. Catching up on old times, so to speak. These acquaintances, who at the moment all happened to be female, proceeded to grill me, socially, on everything that's been going on in my life. Job? Good. Check. Family? Good. Check. Friends? Good. Check. Band? Good. Check. Love Life? Um.... "Why don't you just get out there, Chuck?" "Where is there? There is no there there." (yes, that's Gertrude Stein) "Out _there_, it's so obvious," the brunette on my left said. "Just get out and meet someone." "But I'm not looking for someone..." "Then what are you looking for?" asked the SoCal-bred blonde to my left. "I'm looking for a special woman ... no, let me rephrase that. I'm looking for a REALLY special woman." "Oh?" from the redhead across from me. "Describe her." They all leaned forward anxiously. I leaned back, sighed, and finally spoke. "I'm ... I'm looking for a woman who will love me for who I am, as opposed to who she wants me to be." The reply almost came back in unison; the words were different, but the tone of voice remained the same. Brunette: "Good luck." Blonde: "You're fucked." Redhead: "If I can't change him, then what's the point?" (too bad -- at that point, I was expecting an "uck" rhyme) At least they were honest. The topic changed, and the conversation proceeded from there. I was out the door within a half hour. Really though ... do all of the women out there think of us men as something to be molded into something else? Fuck that shit. I am what I am, and it's not Popeye, but that's ok by me. Personally, a great impetus for self-improvement would come from a loved one saying to me "Charles, I love you, as you are, as I know you'll always be ..." That, and that alone, would make me want to be everything to that person, and I'd be damned if I wouldn't automatically change for the better after hearing that, especially from someone I loved. Who wouldn't? I yam who I yam. I yam who I will be. And I'll be fucked if anyone else has any idea of what that is, because I sure as hell don't. In the forum:How much inconvenience is justified by "cheap" airfare? 01 july 1999: : didn't write 01 july 1998: spurts : And now I'm craving sushi ... again. It's like there's a magnet in my tongue which is polarized in opposition to the first empty sushi bar.
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