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04 august 2000
----- Today, I confirmed the existence of hell. Some would say hell is a state of mind, or some mystical cauldron of boiling sludge that we bad humans have to boil in for a while. No. I found hell on earth. Its name is Delaware. Yes, Delaware. First state to come, let it be the first one to go. (of course, that would mean my beloved NJ would be third, so let's just scrap that wish for the moment...) Speaking of NJ, I paid my toll at the end of the NJ Turnpike this evening, and proceeded promptly onto the Delaware Memorial Bridge, spanning the Delaware River, welcoming me to the state of, well, Delaware. I was on the Delaware turnpike, which traverses Delaware, all eleven miles of it. Eleven miles, yes. Just needed to confirm that. The first thing I hit was a toll plaza. "Welcome to Delaware. Three dollars, please." I exited the toll plaza to stasis. An inchworm's version of "stop-and-go" --- the speedometer never moved. Thirty minutes later, I still saw the toll plaza in my rear-view mirror. I debated turning around and paying really good money to be re-admitted into New Jersey, the Garden State, home of little traffic. Another thirty minutes, my speedometer needle woke up. Ten miles per hour. Fifteen. Twenty. Thirty. Forty. Forty-five. Fifty!!!!! Wow! Then forty-five. Forty. Thirty. Twenty. Fifiteen. Ten. "Please pay toll. 1/2 mile ahead." "Thank you for visiting Delaware. That'll be two dollars please." Absolution never came this cheap. Maryland was a much nicer ride. I whizzed through Baltimore, and then down the creatively-named Baltimore-Washington Parkway. I somehow found myself in a quite nasty area of DC, just a bit lost, when it started pouring. It was one of those downpours we never see in Los Angeles, where you wish that Toyota had put one more level of speed on the windshield wiper controls. I couldn't see, but I drove anyway. I wound up driving in circles through what I later learned was the SouthEast Washington ghetto. I finally found the beltway, but got on the outer loop when I was supposed to get on the inner loop, and wound up circling the city in the wrong direction. A quick call to Jayme confirmed that yes, indeed, I was spiraling towards nowhere in my rent-a-car. She directed me through a beltway traffic jam to Connecticut Avenue, and finally back into the city, where she hopped into my car and helped me find Tyson's Corner, VA and the Ritz Carlton Hotel. Ah, the Ritz Carlton. Disgustingly elegant. Checking in at the desk, replying to a "How are you this evening?" "I'm tired, I'm wet, and I've been lost for the past two hours, and I really need a cigarette." "And what brand do you smoke?" "Um ... Parliaments?" "Well, we'll have a pack of those delivered to your room immediately then." Up in the room, I smoked and paced and drank some vodka from the mini-bar while Jayme lounged on a big cushy chair. We headed downstairs to the Lobby Lounge for dinner: a smoked salmon platter and more vodka for me, pizza and coffee for her, signed to the room, of course. A really bad jazz trio was on stage, playing standards from the Real Book as aging overdressed couples showed off the fruits of post-retirement dance lessons. "Shadow of Your Smile" merged into the "Girl From Ipanema," and we knew it was time to go. I drove Jayme back to the city, and headed back to the hotel, where I donned one of two terrycloth robes embroidered with the Ritz-Carlton monogram on the front pocket. My bed was turned down and two chocolate mint-like objects were on the pillow. I brushed them aside and unsuccessfully tried to get online through the hotel's ethernet port. Strange thing is, I was networked, the DHCP server gave me an IP address, and I could see other computers in the hotel. Just couldn't surf. Useless, it was, and tired I am. Tonight, I feel I'll sleep well for a change.
In the forum: 04 august 1999: : didn't write 04 august 1998: gfrblxt : And I'm putting together the puzzle again. It's the same puzzle, and they're the same pieces, but now I'm looking at them in a different way. [ swim back | email me | swim ahead ] |
