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02 october 2000
give it to me now Hyper can't think straight feels like overcaffeinated but that's not it giddy banging my head against the wall laughing despite myself I fell like a little fucking jumping bean bouncing off the cranium is there anything that will calm me down besides sex which there's no way in hell I'm getting right now? Perhaps it's just a bit too much oxygen in my bloodstream... When I was young all of my teachers complained that I was hyperactive. Then I started smoking and I was just fine. Now I've stopped smoking for a day and I'm hyperkinetic. Banging my fucking head against a wall, I have no friggin' idea what to do with all of this energy. I took myself out for a hundred-dollar sushi meal tonight, a reward, so to speak, for not smoking. Three waitresses were hitting on me. Nobody ever hits on me. I feel like the tasmanian devil from the bugs bunny cartoon and shit, spinning around at 1000 rpm, bouncing off my surroundings like a pinball. It's like I'm on coke or something, not a very comfortable feeling. I want to punch, kick, elbow, run around in circles for twenty-seven minutes, whatever it takes. I'd be a fucking dynamo in the sack right now. I know that's crude, but it's true. Pure energy. That's what I'm currently comprised of. Take every aspect of my manhood and magnify it 250% over its previous peak. Bring it on ... I'm friggin ready to burst here. One of the main reasons I didn't wanna quit smoking is because it would amplify my already aggresive sex-drive. "Amplify" was an understatement. No single man should be forced to deal with urges this intense. But it's not just sexual ... no, it's more spiritual. Heady. Thinking ... very very dangerous for me to be without cigarettes ... yet I'm doing it anyway. What on earth am I thinking, feeling somewhat like a bomb waiting to explode, yes, like I said, literally, I'm bangin' my head against the wall. I must have release ... shit, what the fuck am I saying, automatic writing now, not thinking before thinking that I'm completely losing it and I feel like stripping off my clothes and running naked down the streets of Malibu because who the fuck cares what anyone thinks, and where on earth are those automatic seven pounds I'm supposed to gain by stopping smoking, it's not like I don't need the weight, y'know. Yes, I'd run naked down the streets of Malibu now because no one would see me anyway, since no-one in this stupid sleepy town is even awake at this hour -- hell, I'd get naked in front of my critter-cam tonight, but I left it at the office, having already taken today's pic, a panoramic vista of my desk at work, shot from the rim of my iBook looking across the G4 cube towards the new apple extended keyboard and such. Big friggin deal. Y'know, I quit smoking today (or was it yesterday?). What the fuck was I thinking? Who am I doing this for? Is there a point to any of this? Good health? Why? Smell better? Why? Gain weight? Why? So I don't blow away in the next tornado. Ok, that makes sense. Gonna pour myself some vodka now and try to fall asleep before I do something I'll regret and then I'll have to reset that little counter that I worked so hard to set up. Did I mention how giddy I've been? Can't stop laughing, and I'm not even happy... Just about 24 hours now. Bad thing is, the hard part is still on its way. 02 october 1999: : on a long hiatus 02 october 1998: : on a brief hiatus 02 october 1997: happy new year? : To make it easier on all parties, said toilet seat should be raised or lowered by the person BEFORE he or she relieves themselves. This should be performed without any post-relief bitching and moaning to the prior occupant of the bathroom. [ swim back | email me | swim ahead ] |
