5 april 2000
single malt reflections


i want you so much
heard from somewhere behind me
and then i awoke

I'm engrossed within my own reflection, presented in amber from a glass of Cardhu Single Highland Malt Scotch Whiskey. I haven't done the straight scotch thing in a while, but tonight it seemed appropriate, so I'm slowly sipping as I type, becoming equally engrossed within a reflection on my self.

I overslept this morning. I could blame my alarm clock for not waking me just as easily as I could blame myself for not setting it just as easily as I could blame my hangover for not letting me hop out of bed when my eyes automatically opened at 7am.

Reality found me stumbling out of bed at 10, and the first thing I did was call my soon-to-be-ex boss to explain. No answer. So I called the receptionist and told her ...

"Oh, Chuck, I heard you're leaving us?"

"That's right. I gave notice yesterday. They want me out by Friday."

"Wow, I can't believe it, it's been so long ..."

"Yeah, four-and-a-half years."

"We're going to miss you. The company is going to miss you, so much."

"Thanks, S-----, I can't tell you how much that means."

"You're welcome. Now take some aspirin and drink lots of water ... and I'll see you soon."

Unbelievable. I never told her I was hungover, but she knew. She knows everything. I swear, this sweet little 75 year old woman runs the company.

No, I take that back. If she ran the company, I probably wouldn't have quit.



~~~

Last night I was out with Jen and Fritz, "celebrating" my freedom from Corporate America. We wound up in a Karaoke bar on Reseda Boulevard in the Valley. Great conversation. Bad music. Truthfully, I was hungover before I left the place. I felt too shitty to be buzzed, as is evidenced in last night's entry.

My coworkers have planned a formal send-off for me on Friday after work. Brutus took it upon himself to spam the email network with news of the gathering, so it's probably going to be a pretty good turnout. As for me, I'm just worried about keeping my wits about me.



~~~

Got the weekly Continental Airlines specials in email today, and there's a $169 roundtrip fare from LAX to Newark, so I jumped on it and called my parents to tell them I was coming to visit. It couldn't have happened on a better weekend. I'm in-between jobs, my niece is having her first birthday (I haven't seen her since December), and I've been longing to "quick escape" LA for a while now.

Jen called -- she couldn't resist the airfare, and decided to join me for the trip, on the condition that I take her to see the new Museum of Natural History Space Center on Central Park West. As for me, I always knew it as the Hayden Planetarium, a place where my high school friends and I would go and get stoned, sit back, and watch the "Dark Side of The Moon" Laserium show. My last time on 79th St, the old Hayden (a very FDR-NewDeal-romantic red brick structure with a green dome) was nothing but a pile of rubble. I heard they were building something new there, and confirmed the fact in the latest issue of "Architecture" magazine, where the new structure was published as a "feat of contemporary engineering" with the largest glass curtain wall in the world. I can't wait to see it. Frankly, I can't wait to get 'home'.

Yes, the word 'home' in quotes again. It's weird. When I'm in LA, I consider NY/NJ home. But when I'm in NY/NJ, I consider LA home. I could try to make sense of that, but I won't. It just is.



~~~

AC and Gabby are watching "The Messenger" in the living room. I just heard Gabby commenting on Milla Jovovich's resemblance to a twelve-year old boy. "Is that what attracts men now?" Why is she complaining? She's one of the most physically beautiful women I've ever met in my life. And don't even get my started on her spiritual and soulful beauty. AC's a lucky guy. I just wish he'd realize how lucky he is and propose already, or she's gonna leave him (although she was only bluffing back then).

Speaking of the roomies, AC's got a line on a mint-condition Hammond B-3, not a cut-down, but a full organ that's been sitting in someone's grandmother's living room since the 1960s. What I wouldn't give to own one of those ...



~~~

Gotta sleep now ... meeting with my new boss tomorrow morning, and hoping the current company won't notice my late arrival. If worse comes to worst, I'll just say I was hungover. Might not be too far from the truth. Gonna lay off this single malt scotch for a while.

two years ago: saving daylight: smoking pot with the homeless guys in the alley behind my apartment.

one year ago: empathetic maternity: nervously anticipating the birth of my niece.

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