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30 may 2000
----- My new bedmate decided to snap a picture of us tonight. If I could get my arms around his neck, I'd strangle him. Yesterday I posed the question of what to do with this enormous pussy. Today I'm thinking of inventive ways to destroy it. I find myself intimitated and threatened ... his fucking eyeballs are bigger than my head. Although I have to admit ... I was briefly intrigued by this one suggestion that came through email today ex interrupted.org... you send it back in her direction in a cutely 'romantic' way. keep it for a few days, call her and gush to let her know you appreciate it. after a few days with garfield, he starts missing her and you have this brilliant idea. since you can't spend as much time with the cat as you would like to, you propose a shared cat agreement. lot's of people dating do things like this - share their animals and their things. you bring the cat back to her house with a little token of your cat affection - like a big red bow, or a cat shirt that's 'relationshipy' (a shirt for the cat that says -- you're so cool, I love you, somebody thinks you're special), or a poem. you might even just surprise her with the whole joint custody-like bit by showing up with the cat and *then* explaining. then you've gotten rid of the cat, minus a few queries about how it's doing and maybe even a few visits. I'm certain it's in her taste even if it's not in yours. and kids are awesome when it comes to not needing to analyze everything a person does to look for the ulterior motive. tell her you love the cat, demonstrate the love for the cat, and send it back on its way. ... to which I hastily replied: her mother would kill me ... the first thing she said to me upon depositing it on my doorstep was "thank god it's out of my house."
Yes, it was quite a harsh and hasty reply, despite the smiley at the end. I wasn't having the greatest day at work at the time. Now I look back upon it and the suggestion doesn't seem that unreasonable, aside from the fact that Angel will under no circumstances allow the monstrosity back in her house. "demonstrate the love for the cat." Ugh. How do I demonstrate that which I don't have? Do I stroke it with a butter knife instead of filleting it with a switch-blade? How insensitive can I be? Angel brought Ice Fairy (my nine-year old "girlfriend" who started this whole thing by bestowing the cat on me in the first place) to band practice tonight, so I had to thank her for the present. I was a bit tongue-tied, but managed to blurt out "I don't know where to put it. It's bigger than my apartment." To which she giggled in such a cute way that I know I'm gonna somehow be stuck with this overstuffed creature until the end of time. Did I mention how HUGE this thing is? Did I mention how small my bedroom is? Band practice. We ran through the set for the Luna Park gig. Not bad, not great. The extra lead vocal didn't destroy me as much as I thought it would, but the logistics of wearing a strap-on keyboard, singing, and navigating a backwardly switched sustain pedal with my left hand -- well, let's just say I've got a bit of work to do on that tune. Sinking into my bed now, literally. Time to pump some more air into it and close my eyes. I really hope the new mattress arrives tomorrow. Even the cat looks pissed off about it. 30 may 1999: didn't write : 30 may 1998: no detail : i huff and i puff and i blow myself a kiss it was a near miss
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