04 october 2000
withdrawing

i can't fathom self
outside my reality
why does the good hurt
geeku by me

I think I managed three hours sleep last night. When my alarm finally went off, I suddenly became very tired and unwilling to leave the bed.

I'm in a daze, kinda dizzy. Can't concentrate and just feel like closing my eyes to the world. The splitting headache that started on monday afternoon has now been joined by the chills, and my constant shakes and questions of "is it cold in here?" are met with nothing but quizzical expressions from my coworkers.

Coughing now, it feels like the flu minus stuffiness. Is crawling under my desk an option? It looks so nice and warm down there.

Smoking is not an option ... weird that I haven't been craving today. I want not to smoke, but to just curl up in a little ball away from life and all associated. I feel sick, honestly, fucking shivering tingling coughing headaching, and it's just getting worse. Is this detoxification?

04 october 1998: : on a brief hiatus

04 october 1997: laptop sings the blues : There's a ghost in the machine. Whatever does tha mean?

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